Abuse
Resources
Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsQuestions and Answers
BipolarShould I Put up With Abuse And Morbid Jealousy?I Can't control my Mind Anymore, do I Need to Leave?Multiple Sex Abuse as a ChildSexual Abuse, What Should I do Now?Abusive Adult ChildStep-Daughter is Deliberately AbusiveSelf Hate Why Do I like Being Abused?How To Get Over It?Does My Boyfriend Have a Personality Disorder?Do I Suffer From Depression?I Am Wondering What Could be Wrong With Me?Personality Disorder Symptoms??Past Following me For the WorseDelusional JealousyAlcohol and ChangeSecond MarriageHow Can I Move Past This- A Question for StaffThe Marriage Corner: How Can I Move Past This?I am Only 26 Years OldI Feel Like a Complete Waste of a Human LifeBipolar Disorder and False and Displaced Memories?Is There Any Hope For Me, or am I Destined to be Damaged?Extreme BehaviorHow to Convince my Wife to Seek HelpI Just Feel So Depressed Should I Fight For My Marriage?Insecure DangerHe Says I'm Ignorant , Being a MoronPOCDParent Abuse and My Resulting Disorders?Will my Boyfriend Eventually Hit me?Is He a Narcissist?Can This Ever Change??Need AdviceDaughter In Abusive MarriageI Think My Husband Hates MeHelp!!!Will He Hit Me Eventually? My Fiance May Have a Sexual, Nude Photo AddictionIs This Abuse and What Should I Do?Please Help Me!How To Help My SonWorthlessI Want To Die!I Was Living Two Lives. Controlling Husband Who Cheated Several TimesDo I Have Bipolar Disorder?Afraid of Breaking Family ApartIs Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Curable? Delusional and Morbid Jealousy?I Don't Know Anymore. Please Help.Insane JealousyAm I In Danger?Sexual Abuse and Its Effects on Relationships AfterwardsSociopath or Sociopath-like Product of My Environment?Is She Mentally Ill?Narcissistic StepfatherWill the abuse still continue?AngerSexual issues with husbandHelpShould I Switch Therapists? Sara, Nov. 4, 2008Did I push them too much?Violent/murderous sexual fantasiesIs it my fault that I was sexually abused? Did it make me gay?I am really worried about my mental health (19yr old female)Is It Abuse? - Erin - Jun 24th, 2008My boss asked me about my sex life and im only 16.. please read!Abusive Relationshipabuse survivorI believe my husband sexually abused my daughter and is at risk for doing the same to my grandchildren. What should I do now?Why do I beat myself up over what they think?Is it my fault if my family falls apart after he cheats?Living with boyfriend - Am I dealing with one person or two?This guy I bullyCan he be changed?Münchhausen Disorder 'biproxy' (by Proxy)I get paralysed and cant do anythingHow do I keep my conduct disordered step-son from molesting my children?Rape victim who cuts and engages in BDSM to self-punish asks, 'Why am I like this?'cycle of abuse, but no apologiesFeel like I'm trappedFather is abusing and controlling my motherHow can I change my life?how to overcome sexual abuseviolent brotherSelf esteemHow to help a loved one who sees no problemHealthy sexuality not instinctual for me after abusive situationsi don't know if this is abuseafter verbal abuse19 year old daughter in abusive relationshipForgotten or just ignored?Domestic ViolenceIs this Schizophrenia?How to Deal with the Loss of Familyabout my childhood and why I am like this, but what can I do to changeDid I Love my husband and still abuse him emotionallyWhat is wrong with me?What Would This Be?A Request for HelpAdult ChildrenIs there a difference between abuse and trauma?Regret my decision every single dayHe has hit me on a few occasions ...Need to find a reason for the abuseI'm a cutter and can't remember anythingHow Does Childhood Abuse Influence Adulthood?Abusive Older SisterAbusive MotherKilling Myself In His KitchenFear Of Remembering ThingsViolent SisterAbuse Warning SignsBest Way To Deal With Verbal AbuseMy RoommateA Mean, Verbally Abusive WomanConfused While Leaving An Abusive RelationshipPossibly Molested DaughterStill SufferingAbusive FatherWhat Abuse Looks Like #2Are Battered Women Mentally Ill?Recognizing Verbal AbuseDissociates When IntimateAre Bipolars Abusive?Daughter's Violent MarriageDefinition Of Being BeatenThe Aftermath of AbuseThe Goal of TherapyHaunted College StudentToxic ParentsAbused WifeAbuse and TraumaNo Desire For Sex 1Mental AbuseLow Self-EsteemIntimacy IssuesAbusive GirlfriendEmotionally Abusive Marriage: What To Do?False PromisesAn Angry HusbandCarol-Ann writes:Laura writes:
LinksBook Reviews
Related Topics

Depression: Major Depression & Unipolar Varieties
Domestic Violence and Rape
Self Esteem
Anger Management

Ask Dr. SchwartzAsk Dr. Schwartz:
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

My Fiance May Have a Sexual, Nude Photo Addiction

Tue, Jul 27th 2010

Our second year of dating he was left alone with my best friend and her boyfriend's computer, not long after I discovered a secret email account he had created to email himself nude photos of my best friend stolen from their computer. I found this because he was stupid and left the password saved on my computer so when I went to log into my own email I was already in his secret account. I confronted him, and proceeded to break up with him, but he begged and promised, so we remained. As part of our rehabilitation as a couple, I asked him to produce any other pornographic images hidden in either my or his computer. And he did willingly. I admitted that my concern wasn't idle use of internet derived pornographic images from such intended websites, but the fact that he stole images from our friends and used them for his own sexual needs. Of course promises poured forth.

Over time he began to blame me for the need of such images and his desire for my friend, by stating I was overweight, unattractive, and our sex life was unsatisfactory. Always afterward he would apologize and make a strong effort to save our relationship. We began planning our wedding when I thought this had been put behind us. My friend had been made aware of the past incident, and all had been forgiven as childish behavior on his part.

Concerned for me and unknown to me, my friend retrieved from his computer images well hidden. These folders consisted of images of her and her same boyfriend in sexual context, many very recent. Even images and videos of her boyfriend alone sexually posed. Images of porn from the internet, etc. And finally, lingerie images he stole from my cousin's computer when we house sat while she went away on her honeymoon. My friend hadn't reported the discovery to me until recently. During this time, he and I fought constantly over my jealousy, lack of self-esteem, depression symptoms, and depression treatment. His stance consisted of being unable to cope with my mental illness. We broke up, but remain living together due to lease and financial obligations.

My friend reported the discovery to me last night. He still lives with me. His secretive and reclusive behavior makes sense after this discovery. His inability to trust me, and to communicate also makes sense. I cannot understand his need to steal images of our friends and my family for his own sexual desires. In addition, there were photos of his exposing himself in different situations when we were all together, unknown to any of us.

I am concerned that this is beyond a strong sexual desire for pornographic images. I don't know if this is all used for masturbation, but many images show artistic rendering and collages of nudity he made. Is it an obsession with nudity and the thrill of stealing? We are no longer romantically or intimately involved, but I am concerned for him since I care about him still. He needs help.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.