Abuse

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
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Relationship Questions

Domestic Violence

Its hard to know where to start. Well, for the last year I\'ve been dating someone quite a bit older than me. He is 38 and im 19. He was in prison for 15 years. I know how cliche it is to say "he's different" but he truly does have the mindstate of someone my age. When I met "Stan", I had been sober for about 6 months and was doing very well in methadone treatment. Since dating him, he's gotten me hooked on methamphetamine. I dropped out of college, dropped out of beauty school, lost two apartments because of him stealing something or threateneing someone, lost my car, lost my laptop most valuable possesions including TVs, heirlooms, over $1000 worth of clothes, I lost my health, my dignity, my self respect, my parent's trust, my newest apartment, and has cost me thousands of dollars in terms of phone bills, utility bills, etc. He is incredibly cruel and abusive. He throws things at me, picks me up by my hair, hits me, spits in my face, humiliates me. He is convinced Im cheating on him. I have before (so has he) therefore I must be doing it now, too. The only problem is I'm not. He knows I hate being alone and that Im going through a really tough time, so he leaves me alone in my apartment for days at a time. So far it's been about two weeks. He's come home only to scream at me, pass out, and leave as soon as he wakes up, a total of about 4 hrs. every other day or so. He doesnt come home at night--I stay inside all day long--and Im the suspect? I feel myself starting to slip off into the deep end and my self-destructive patterns are getting more and more severe. I know I need to leave this man because the entire relationship is so messed up beyond repair and is most likely based on him conning me out of my things. But I dont know how to escape! im afraid he'll come after me, and the things he says to me are so hurtful I feel like I'm being torn in half. What can I do to leave this crazed dictator? -Please help.

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