Abuse

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Ask Dr. Dombeck
Psychotherapy and Mental Health Questions

Intimacy Issues

I've been dating a beautiful, intelligent girl for a week, and yesterday after talking about our families it came up that I was sexually abused by my mother. I don't remember too many details, but just being asked the question "did your mother abuse you?" send me into unexpected tears. After this came up I wanted to talk about it, but I felt so blocked and tense that no words came out - but she noticed how tense my whole body was. I ended up leaving awkwardly, and this morning woke up in shivers. I've seen psychologists before but am generally very defensive - most likely because my mother had a M.A. in counseling psychology and tried to counsel me throughout my teenage years when I was chronically depressed, never admitting she might have a part in what was happening to me. I've tried some alternative therapies such as groups and rebirthing, but am frustrated as I still don't remember enough to know why I recoil when I'm getting close to a potential partner. I want to have some intimacy in my life. Do you have any suggestions?

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