Abuse

Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

Best Way To Deal With Verbal Abuse

I am a 30 year old married woman with two children. Outwardly I do not have much reason to be unhappy but I do feel depressed, anxious and annoyed most of the times. I feel I cannot give my children a healthy atmosphere like this and that is why I am sharing this with you. My husband is otherwise a nice person but he is rude almost all the time. When he is good to me its like everything is really good but the problem is that he keeps verbally abusing all the time. He constantly tells me I am worthless, good for nothing, calls me names without any reason. He can start just about anytime without even the slightest provocation. He even tries to belittle me in front of the children. He says I have a large ego and that is what keeps him at constantly trying to instill some sense and make me more humble. I have been brought up in a very healthy manner feeling proud of the fact that I am a girl. Though my husband went to a better college and is much better settled professionally, I have also done my masters in engineering and am a hard and sincere worker. He keeps telling me that I am stupid and know nothing. He says I should do everything as he tells me and when I say I have my own mind he says I create problems in everything. He will be extremely rude the whole day and then in the evening he'll act as if nothing has happened. By that time I am disturbed enough and am not feeling quite alright and then he says now what and calls me mentally unstable. I simply don't know what to do. Its been almost 10 years since we married. He has driven me almost to madness with his behavior. He says the choicest of rude things and when he is in a better mood he apologizes. Yes he would have apologized and said sorry at least a thousand times until now. But I know everything he says and does is totally meaningless. I do not think I can describe everything here and its difficult to understand my situation from this. I would just like to to tell you that I have tried to just ignore everything and get on with trying to have a normal life...always forgiving and forgetting...bearing with him ...going along with however he wants things to be .. laughing when he allows me too and crying when he chooses to pour out all his negativity onto me. But then he feels he can get away with just about any kind of behavior. When I try to confront him and show my anger and tell him that I won't take this then also things just carry on and on. I just want to ask you whats the best way to deal with verbal abuse? How do you instill the slightest amount of respect in men who feel respecting or trying to understand and care about a woman is unmanly?

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
  • 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Share This

Resources