Skip 
Navigation Link

Parenting

Ask Dr. Schwartz
Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

My Husband With Daughter......

My husband's daughter and family live in Texas and we live in Hawaii. He has a 10 year old daughter there who stays with us over the summer for nearly 3 months. We go there, to Texas or she comes here over Christmas break, and etc. I have an 11 and a 14 year old girl living with me.

Last week my husband went home, packed his things and told me that he was moving back to Texas because he couldn't be away from his daughter anymore. Nothing has happened in our relationship. it's very good and we love each other very much. We also work together running my family business. By the time he left the following night he said that he can't leave me either and promised that he would be back in 2-3 weeks after his daughter's birthday.

I know and understand that being away from her is very hard on him. His divorce agreement demands daily contact by phone or skype but his ex makes sure this doesn't happen. He is plagued with guilt being away from her and getting closer to my girls makes this worse.

Now, a week later, he hasn't said that he's not coming back but has asked if we could make it work to have him stay there and work. He says he can make more money there, in Texas. H wants to live there while I live here and we can see each other when we can.

We've only been married for 7 months and we had discussed many times before deciding to get married that, if it was too hard for him to be away and make a life here, that we needed to not get married. He still says that he loves me, will never cheat, doesn't want to be with anyone else, wants to stay married and I feel the same.

Does the commitment we made in marriage mean that he can do this and I'm supposed to be ok with it? He now seems to want a part time wife that lives in another state. I feel selfish because that's how he feels. He is with his daughter but he did make this decision knowing what it meant. Do I go along with this indefinitely? Do I give up and move on? How can I force him to make a choice between his wife or his daughter?

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
  • Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
  • Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

Share This

Resources