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Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

Should I get involved?

I am a single mother of two boys 20 and 18. I have raised them on my own for the past 6 years....through the toughest years of their lives so far and I've done it by myself. I haven't had a break from the responsibilities that come with that, i.e. their experimentation with alcohol, waiting up for them to come home, wondering how they will come home. We have turned the corner and I am burnt out. I was dating a man who has two boys younger than mine. We stopped seeing each other last year because he was assuming sole custody of them with the same problem as me....he was doing it by himself. We recently hooked up again and his kids are now 15 and 12. Although I have huge feelings for this man and he wants to give it another try....I can't help but feel that I would be going backwards..that the new found freedom I have now that my kids are older is well deserved. I don't know how much a part of his kids' lives I can be and how supportive I can be of him through the upcoming teenage years. I have tried to express my concerns to him but I think he thinks we can do it. I don't think I can do it. How do I explain this to him without hurting him...I don't want to go backwards as much as i love him. The kids mother lives in another province so he will be the sole parent as was I. It is a hard job but I've done it.

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