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Granddaughter needs help before I send her home

My granddaughter that is 11 1/2 years old, still sucks her thumb and has potty accidents several times a week. She only sees her father and me for about 3 weeks in the summer. I have asked her mother what she is doing about these problems so we can all be on the same page. She said she has given up. There has to be some kind of underlying problem for this to continue for so long. I am very reluctant to send her home before I get any information on what is going on with her. She did make the comment she could not tell me anything because I would tell her Dad and he would "freak out." What should I do?

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